Monday, April 30, 2012

Paradise by the Dashboard Light

And by “Dashboard” we’re referring to Blogger’s new Dashboard interface.

Which is decidedly NOT Mistress MJ’s idea of paradise.

By now, all you Blogger bloggers will have seen this notice on your Dashboard... “The old Blogger interface will be removed in the coming month” ... “coming month” meaning MAY.

Mistress MJ tried the new Dashboard and nearly had a breakdown as she was composing a very long post with a lot of photos.

Thankfully, I was able to return to the old Blogger Dashboard by following these simple directions…

Look in the top right hand corner of your dashboard, under your profile photo.

See the widget symbol to the right of the box that says “English”? Hover your mouse over the widget and you’ll see that it says “Blogger options.”

Click the widget and scroll down to “Old Blogger Interface.” Click on it and you’ll be returned to your old Dashboard.

Unfortunately, it's only a matter of time (days?) before we'll no longer have a choice between the old Dashboard and the new Dashboard.

We’d love to hear from YOU Bitches on how the new Dashboard is working out for you.

If you have any helpful TIPS for the rest of us, that would be lovely.

Mistress MJ is dreading trying to put together the Infomaniac Bitches Got Talent art exhibition post using the new Dashboard.

Give me strength, Bitches.

Oh, and click here to see Mr. Peenee’s Blogger meltdown and here to see Princess’s Blogger breakdown.

We’re all in this together, Bitches.

A Shot of Saturday Night on Monday Morning

Maybe your Monday mornings need a shot of Saturday night.

With Dexter shoes…

Source: Ebony magazine. September, 1973.

Or Flagg Bros....


Saturday, April 28, 2012

Infomaniac Bitches Got Talent

DEADLINE: Monday, April 30th.

Are you a creative Infomaniac Bitch?

If so, we want to see your handiwork!

Whether you paint, draw, take photographs, knit, sew, or glue macaroni onto paper plates, we want to see your creative output.

Here’s what to do…

Send a photograph (or two) of one of your creations to Mistress MJ (email address is in my Blogger Profile.)

Include a description of the image(s) and tell us a little about your particular talent.

Be sure to include a link to any online art store you might have such as Etsy or eBay. You might get lucky and sell something! Or include a link to where we can see more of your work.

p.s. If you work in more than one medium, you can send separate submissions for each. For example, if you’re a Bitch who paints AND sews, send one or two photos for your paintings and one or two photos for your sewing.

We’ll publish your submissions in one big artsy fartsy post in May.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Norma's Knickers

A sure sign it’s the weekend...


Norma's knickers are off!

Filthy Friday


As you know, clicking WILL make it bigger.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Le Weekend

Mistress MJ is ready for it.


Are you?

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Tarts on the Town

Norma meets up with Muscato and Mr. Peenee


What could happen?

Bye Bye, Michael Guy

The end of Michael Guy…

If you’re a reader of Temporary Trouble Spots, pop on over to bid adieu to Michael Guy who has published his last post.

We’ll miss your glamour, Michael, and as AyeM8y said…
I enjoyed your sharing of rare disco tunes and the Auntie Mame flourishes of redecorating your apartment. And of course the handsome nearly naked mens that caught your eye.

Thank you for making the blogosphere a more beautiful place, Michael.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Muscato and Mr. Peenee, Revisited

Of course you’re all familiar with those two old biddies who frequent the pages of Infomaniac.

I’m talking about Peenee and Norma

Some of you know that before there was a Peenee and Norma segment here on Infomaniac, there was a “Muscato and Mr. Peenee” segment on the fabulous Chateau Thombeau.

That is, until Muscato went away.

But now that Muscato has returned, we here at Infomaniac think it’s time to revisit the good old days of “Muscato and Mr. Peenee” so lets all sit back and have a peek at the old dears…

One Afternoon
Mr. Peenee and Muscato glimpsed a portrait of Mistress MJ, after which they hightailed it to the nearest hotel bar to regain their composure.

Together Again
Muscato and Mr. Peenee in the waiting room at the local clinic.

They Were Young Once
A youthful Mr. Peenee and the always vivacious Muscato show off their girlish charms.

To Know Them Is To Love Them
We're always happy when our old friends Muscato and Mr. Peenee stop by. Almost as happy as when they leave!

The photos above represent a sampling of the “Muscato and Mr. Peenee” collection housed at Chateau Thombeau. CLICK HERE for more.

Thanks, Thom! Your posts were the inspiration for Infomaniac’s “Peenee and Norma” series.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Mr. Peenee and Saki

And now, a moment with Mr. Peenee and his cat, Saki…

Winter Wonderland … in April

Mistress MJ awoke this morning to a blanket of snow on the ground.


And it’s still coming down…in late April!

We're told the forecast for later today is ice pellets.

Mistress MJ was starting to rally round after her brief but violent illness until she clicked on The Vomitorium link that our Jon kindly provided.

Due to a relapse, Mistress MJ will not be joining you until Tuesday.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

It Must Have Been a Bad Weenie

Mistress MJ will return when she’s feeling better.

As you can see, even the stripe has gone out of my tights.

In the meantime, please seek your entertainment elsewhere.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

He Shall Be Levon

May 26, 1940 ~ April 19, 2012

He was the only American in Canada’s greatest band…The Band.

In his memory, I’ll be watching my favourite concert movie tonight, “The Last Waltz.”

Levon Helm on drums and lead vocals performing “Ophelia” in “The Last Waltz”…

A toast to you, Levon: A great musician (and a good kisser.)

Goodnight, Midnight Rambler.

To keep you Bitches amused while I’m off tonight, tell us what concert movie you recommend.

Wenis Wednesday on Thursday

So far, Mistress MJ has received THREE submissions for our upcoming “Infomaniac Bitches Got Talent” exhibition.


If you have an arty/craftsy/creative talent you’d like to display, click here for details.

Deadline: April 30.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

MORE Devious Dealings

Cast your mind back to 2008 when Mistress MJ was kidnapped by the Yakuza.

Well, it happened again this week but Mistress MJ managed to escape, unharmed.


And now Maury wants to hear Mistress MJ’s story.

*notes that kabuki zero was the only one of you who cared enough to send out a search party*

Mistress MJ will catch up with you Bitches shortly…visiting your blogs, returning your email messages, sending a small reward to kabuki zero, etc.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Infomaniac Bitches Got Talent

It has come to Mistress MJ’s attention that many of you are hiding your light under a bushel.

Some of you have recorded CDs; some take photographs; others make art with found objects; and some of you, like Princess, are handy with a needle and thread…


A few of you glue macaroni onto paper plates and call it “pasta art” but who are we to judge?

Yes, Infomaniac Bitches got talent!

Isn’t it time you showed us your creations?

Here’s what we’ll do…

Send a photograph of one or two of your creations to Mistress MJ (email address is in my Blogger Profile.)

Include a description of your creations.

If you sell your artistic endeavours or display them online, be sure to include a link to any online art store you might have such as Etsy or eBay, your own personal website, etc.

After all, it’s never too early to plan for the “C” word!

DEADLINE: April 30, 2012.

We’ll showcase your submissions in one big artsy fartsy exhibition in May.

UPDATE: To clarify what constitutes “creations,” we’re not limiting this to the visual arts. Published authors, for example, are also invited to submit a link to their books.

Wenis Wednesday on Thursday

How many times has this happened to you?...


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Cocksucking Kings

Mistress MJ has reached a decision.


Rather than continue with our Cocksucking Smackdown, both Princess and Cookie will share the victory.

Mistress MJ will purchase an extra “I’m Savin’ Up For a Blow Job!” tin bank so that each one of our wonderful contestants might have their very own, thereby increasing their chances to get some BJ action!

Thanks to everyone who voted and to everyone who participated in our Blowjob Contest.

Let’s hope you ALL get blown!

Cocksucking Smackdown!

A winner MUST be selected TODAY, Bitches!

Princess and Cookie are tied for first place in our Blowjob Contest.

But only ONE Infomaniac Bitch can win the “I’m Savin’ Up For a Blow Job!” tin bank.

Review their entries once again, carefully ponder your decision, and vote for the most appealing answer.

I've been saving up for a blow job for the past 10 years by putting the money I get for giving them into a glass jar. So far I have a grand total of $1.75. I could do with that tin to hide my shameful embarrassment.
- Princess

I just don't want this...I covet it! Why? Because I need one thing in my house that will shock potential buyers when they go through it after we list the house. And if I can figure out how to train a camera on it, I will record their facial reactions. That's why I want it. Then I will pass it on to the next deserving person..
- Cookie

Let the smackdown begin!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Blowjob Contest – Vote Today!

Are you ready to cast your votes and put your money where your mouth is?

[photo found on Paul Carrigan via Zenfancy]

Which Infomaniac Bitch should win the “I’m Savin’ Up For a Blow Job!” tin bank?...

Wording on tin bank...“I'm savin' up for a blow job! But I'll settle for a hamburger and fries."

Carefully read the following list and cast your vote for the most deserving entry. Only one vote per Bitch, please. And you cannot vote for yourself.

I'm saving up for a blow job so that I can have a day off.
- Miss Scarlet

I'm saving up for a hamburger and fries, but I'll settle for a blow job!
- Thombeau

I've been married 10 years. I'm ALWAYS saving up to give a blowjob!
- KDNA (Kevin)

"What's a blow job? Do I have to fill out an application or something? Should I bring my Medicard?"
- Huggy Jon

"I’m savin’ up for a blow job because I don't like burger and fries" - however I may be diverted by a Caipirinha and some Tapas.
- Jon

It was a dark and stormy night, when I began saving up for a blow job because, dammit, I'm worth it!
- Topher

I've been saving up for a blow job for the past 10 years by putting the money I get for giving them into a glass jar. So far I have a grand total of $1.75. I could do with that tin to hide my shameful embarrassment.
- Princess

I just don't want this...I covet it! Why? Because I need one thing in my house that will shock potential buyers when they go through it after we list the house. And if I can figure out how to train a camera on it, I will record their facial reactions. That's why I want it. Then I will pass it on to the next deserving person...
- Cookie

i prefer the other hole.
got a pushke for that?
- Normadesmond

I want this to keep my old bookstore token collection since there are no more dirty bookstores left to use them. Oh, the memories of dark sticky ejaculations gone by...
- Peeper Beeper

I have a honesty box standing outside my bedroom door, it's nearly full... of copper.
- Mitzi

I thought they stopped making blowjobs years ago, at least that's what I had assumed from their absence...
- Wally

They're still more or less "free", though as time goes on they seem to involve more and more negotiation... be easier just to rattle the tin.
- Riley

Oh dear, just in, and made it back from the jello egg eating contest! Well I love to get a prize for something I have very fine tuned talents in, or should I say around....or something I can stink my lips onto.
- Mistress Maddie

when did they start charging for these? I have been giving them away FOR FREE! I am meeting with my attorneys in the morning. Heads will roll.
- kabuki zero

People pay for blowjobs?
I knew I was doing something wrong.
Note: This is only a pretend entry - I don't want the prize and there's plenty of loyal Infomaniac readers who do.
- Kapitano

Because mother's day is coming up fast.
- Jason

I want it because it will sort out my coins. One for giving blow jobs the other to buy this.
- AyeM8y

I need to save up for special blow job enhancing dentures for when the Sailor & I grow old.
- CoreyJo


One of you Bitches is going to walk away with THIS!...

The winner of the Blowjob Contest will be announced sometime on Wednesday.

Monday, April 09, 2012

BJ Memories

Have you entered our Blowjob Contest yet?

If not, scroll down to the previous post and leave a comment!

In the meantime, while you're waiting to cast your votes on Tuesday, why not share your favourite BJ memories with your fellow Infomaniac Bitches?

Go on! Mistress MJ has work to do!

Sunday, April 08, 2012

Blowjob Contest

Are you saving up for a blowjob?

If so, you could win this prize!...

“I'm savin' up for a blow job! But I'll settle for a hamburger and fries."

That’s right, Bitches!

All you have to do is tell us why you want this “I’m savin’ up for a blow job!” tin bank and it could be YOURS!

Simply leave a comment today or Monday, stating why you want this item, and we’ll collectively vote for our favourite response on Tuesday.

Ladies, you’re welcome to enter this contest too. You could enter “for a friend.”

Saturday, April 07, 2012

The MistressMobile

As much as Mistress MJ would love to spend the day catching up with you Bitches, she has been called away for the day in the MistressMobile…


Infomaniac returns on Sunday with something fun to entertain and amuse you.

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Mr. Peenee Day

Mistress MJ is forced to return for the following reasons:

1. To publicly voice her displeasure with THIS.

2. It’s Mr. Peenee Day.

Mistress MJ officially declares this, April 5th, as Mr. Peenee Day.

We’re celebrating Mr. Peenee’s birthday and acknowledging that you, Mr. Peenee, are a grand old rag.


Peenee is allegedly vacationing in New Orleans at the moment, engaging in “middle-aged shenanigans” and possibly meeting up with Infomaniac Bitch JASON

Peenee and Jason


Monday, April 02, 2012

Bitch on a Break

Mistress MJ will be back soon.

In the meantime, everybody put on your gold pants and dance!

Sunday, April 01, 2012


It’s here at last, Bitches!

Today you show the world your wares!


Infomaniac Bitches were invited to “Show and Tell” any item in their house and here are the results

This is Shriney McShriner. He's a Shriner. And he's my very best friend. At just under five inches tall, he is easily insertable.

I think it's 1973-74. This is my very first television. She swivels, just like me. Yup, I still have it. Just dug it out of its hibernation and as you can see, it still works! Of course, this is nothing....what makes this so great is what happened to be on when I plugged it in and got her hooked up. After a bit of searching, I figured out that this movie is "Impasse" (1969) starring Burt Reynolds and Anne Francis. This portion of the film found Burt chasing someone into a den of cock fighting (YES!). While Burt smokes his Tareyton, this other gentleman says to him, "That's Cooley, the one with the white cock."
The perfect movie to watch on ones 1970s era Panasonic.
The Infomaniac Gods were at it again.

Carmen (my maid) keeps a clean and tidy house. However, her bedside drawer as you can see, is a disgrace.

I've got the pool set up in preparation for the HOT weather. Come join me in a dip and a frolic. We can have refreshments at poolside, drink copiously from the vodka fountain and play a rousing game of Twister. Clothing optional.

Here's my little submission to your Show and Tell.
It's my vintage Vargas print from a late 60s Playboy.
She hangs proudly and seductively on my bedroom wall.

So I just snapped the nearest things to me and what do I get? A glitterball stood in a souvenir ashtray of the Demon of Lanzarote, a miniature coffin and candy ghoul left over from Hallowe'en, an Art Deco candle-light, a small eyewash bowl that actually contains my other half Madam Arcati's crown that fell off and is waiting for the dentist appointment to put it back, and an "amusing" beer-mat with a picture of a cat dressed as Lady GaGa.
Welcome to MY world...

I have something to show and tell the “Infomaniac Class of 2012. Here are “The 3 Faces of Maude" my ancient dressmaker’s dummy.
Originally Maude came perched on a metal pole and wooden stand. Sadly on arriving home one evening I found Maude sprawled on the floor and out cold. It seems her wooden stand had collapsed leaving her literally legless... and I might add... smelling suspiciously of cooking sherry! So now she has learnt to balance times precariously.... on what ever is at hand... In this instance a cardboard box full of fabric scraps on a stool... and at other times balanced by the hips between two chairs. Until I can afford an upgrade to a newer “spiffier” adjustable model then I guess the old girl will just have to do for now... I just need to keep the cooking sherry under strict lock and key!

For show and tell, I am submitting one of my favorite treasures - an authentic 18th century wig powder jar. While it no longer contains any powder, I am pleased to report that it can eventually and handily accept the cremains of at least one former husband.

I was considering whether to spend my money on a silicone dildo or...something more practical. In the end, I spent it on neither. Instead, here's a little essay on the completely useless thing which, for reasons which I can't now recall, I decided I wanted in my life last week. Two pictures enclosed.

This is the Thing in my house.

Look at my pocket. No, pocket, not packet. Thank you. It's a nice pocket, in a nice jacket, a birthday present from my mother, specifically for teaching in. Because only teachers wear corduroy jackets.

My teaching looking back at you. One of the pens is a secret video camera. For GBP20 on eBay you can get this marvel of James Bondery (Bondage?), to slip into your pouch. The instructions have been lovingly translated from Chinese, possibly via Albanian. The result is quite poetic, for example: "Continue to Camera: The standby mode, short press the button to eliminate yellow, blue light, blue lights began to flicker that is also the beginning of the video." Once deciphered, it's also completely wrong. As were the specifications on the eBay seller's page. What should have been two hour's running time at 720x480 is one hour at 640x480, and it takes two hours to charge from your computer's USB port. A process which sometimes crashes Windows.

Then you can upload the result onto your computer, and you've got a youtubable slice of your life, as seen from a foot below your chin, complete with all the rustlings and clunks you get from any movement at all. But wait, there's more. It's also a staggeringly slow 4GB USB storage device. But wait again, there's even more. Because you can also use it as...a pen! You can get special ink refils designed to fit into the half of the pen which is actually a pen. I've tried strapping it to my head with an elastic band to film the dogs - but for some reason they don't like it. I'm sure one day it'll come in useful. Provided I've remembered to charge it the night before.

For my show and tell photo,I have chosen to share the latest tribute in my ever growing Joan Crawford collection. I don't ordinarily collect dolls,but this "Devil in White" by Tonner Dolls really caught my eye. I have chosen to display her in a special display I put together complete with glamour flask full of top shelf vodka.

LXAmun Ra ring. Replica of one of the gold rings buried with King Tutankhamun. Got it in Chicago at the "Treasures of Tutankhamun" exhibit in 1977 at the very height of Tut-O-Mainia.

Last year for Easter we appeased our SIL by agreeing to participate in her family’s long tradition of making egg dioramas. I went with “Million Dollar Eggy” and I’m quite annoyed to say I did not win! Other entries included “Reservoir Eggs” and “Count Eggula”.

Here at Rancho FirstNations, we are hard as nails and metal as fuck; therefore we decorate with dead animal parts.

Pictured here is only one of the charming dust-covered tchotchke vignettes in our home. There is a taxidermied alligator head, the mystic numeral '2', a claw-shaped thingie off a chair, the hollow, dessicated and subsequently laquered remains of a mouse my husband found in the garage, a goldfinch skull I found in my garden, a crow skull that I found in my garden, several eggs that birds have given me (offerings? I like to think so) a rat skull I found in the garden, some random ancestral Biker family tools, and a daguerreotype of our beloved village idiots 'Man-Calf Sieverson' and 'Deef Tim'.

I have grabbed the closest object to hand, which is my comment making kit... you didn't really think that my comments simply spilled out of my head did you? On no, it's a long laborious process.....

For Infomaniac Show-n-tell, I offer up my vintage 1960's era "naughty" drink trays.
I've had them for years, and actually had more.
Sadly, they were ruined in my Great Basement Flood of 2009. =(

This is my mom's dresser (is that how you say "commode"?? I've seen the word "chest of drawers" but I'm not sure which is the right one). It's made of mahogany. Not mahogany veneer but full, genuine, solid mahogany. She bought it when she got married in 1959. There was also a man's dresser and a huge, massive bed head-piece with drawers. Those two are missing though. My dad took his dresser when my parents separated(!) and the head-piece was given away to friends when we moved into an apartment where the master bedroom was way to small for the bed to fit in. What a shame!

My mom's dresser also used to have a large, full-length mirror but we broke it when we moved in this apartment in 2006. I kept the frame of the mirror also made of solid mahogany, and even if my mother is nagging me to get rid of it, I won't budge: I'll keep it. You can see it tucked behind the dresser.

I don't know if this piece has any kind of value today. Maybe the fact that the whole set is now dismantled, must decrease its value. And although such ensemble was (and still is) far from cheap, my mom paid only half of its retail value because she could get it directly from the factory where one of her friend worked back then.

My parents grew up in one of the poorest French-Canadian neighborhoods of Montreal where you couldn't expect anything from life unless you spoke English. After the Second World War, things started changing and French-Canadians began to work at gaining their political, economical and cultural maturity and autonomy. So it was quite an achievement for my parents only to be able to afford such an impressive (and expensive) piece of furniture, the only one we've ever got in all my life, cause still today, most of the furniture in the house was bought in garage sales or given by friends and relatives who were getting rid of their old furniture to get new ones.

It's a TUBA!

This is a painting by the hand of my oldest friend, Karen. It hung in my first restaurant & in my toilet as well. It has been with me everywhere since 1985 & even before that! I have noticed that Japanese people are taken with it, truly.....
This being said; I need to know...

I have two for you this time.

This is one of my favorite objects in the Casa du Borghese. I love clocks and this is my favorite. I got it at Bombay Company years ago. It sits in my boudior and always reminds me to wrap things up before the next lad shows up.

It even has a surprise door that stores little tresures like jewels, money, perhaps small libation bottles and even some sundry items. Ready to grab!

And this is my other enjoyable item. The Lad. He is my usual "date". He is a good time and hours of fun. And has a booty like a amusment ride that doesn't stop!

This is a thumbdrum. My dad gave it to me. He found it in Arkansas while on vacation many years ago. It's made from a gourd (coconuts can also be used). The tines are made of tempered steel and are numbered for easy playing. This type of instrument originates from Africa and is also commonly known as a sansa, kalimba, and thumb piano. It also came with a song book. You can get these in diatonic scale or pentatonic scale. Mine is diatonic. So far I've only been able to master "You are My Sunshine" I can tell you it's easier to play without finger nails. They tend to distort the sound of each note. It's really fun to play with and it's definitely a conversation piece when people come to the house.

This is a picture of the first thing I use in the morning.

Morning routine:
Fill in water for two cups of coffee.
Switch on.
Put clothes on.
Switch on computer.
Log in.
Three spoons of coffee, boiling water, two spoons of condensed milk.
Carry to desk.
Lift jalousie.
Sit down.
Drink coffee and read news.

Boring, mh?

There is a school next door that is used for storage for various city functions. The city recently remodeled our downtown branch library and stored a ton of books there. Now that it's time to reopen, rather than relocate the books the city just tossed them into the dumpster. I'm probably going to show these pictures at a city hall meeting. They didn't even try to have a book sale or to recycle them either. Shameful waste.

Here in North West Florida Fahrenheit 451, books are banned, there is no education and people are encouraged to be stupid. That doesn't stop me from raiding the dumpsters at night at the risk of being incinerated on the spot to retrieve precious knowledge.

1. Here is the dumpster outside the former (library).

2. The inside.

3. Close-up.

4. What I salvaged.

5. What I'm reading.The first book I pulled out was Rosalind Russell's autobiography. Years ago I pulled Auntie Mame out of a similar pile of discarded books. DESTINY.

What could be more Show and Tell than a tranny mag? I dug up this charmer years ago in a local second hand porn dealer (and let me just emphasize how happy I am to live in a city that has more than one of these shops.) I started out with two of them, but the other, which was also loaded with "personal ads," was cut up over the years as material for the handmade valentines I used to create.

It appears the model's name is Tammy. Isn't that adorable?


Mistress MJ sends you all to the head of the class!