Friday, March 30, 2012

Saturday: Deadline Day

You Bitches have sent in some of the most “interesting” items from your households for our upcoming Show and Tell Day

[thanks, Thombeau!]

You have all day Saturday to submit your entries…although I think most of you have done so by now.

Wait ‘til you see what’s on display!


Thanks, Bitches!

Birthday Gals

Double up on the vodka, Bitches.

Today we celebrate the birthdays of Infomaniac Bitches “Anonymous Boxer” from Seattle, Washington and “Ute” from Down Under.

You gotta fight for your right to eat birthday cake!

Note: Filthy Friday precedes this post.

Filthy Friday – Show and Tell Reminder

Put up Post-it notes to remind yourselves that SATURDAY is the deadline to enter our Show and Tell Day!

Note: Several of you inundated Mistress MJ’s box with submissions overnight. I’ll email you Bitches later today to thank you.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Wine and Cheese Party

I can't see the label on the bottle.

What wine would you pair with this?...


Enjoy yourself at our wine and cheese party, Bitches!

But watch out for handsome strangers!...


Cin cin!...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Wenis Wednesday Returns!

Because so many of you responded to Mistress MJ’s blackmail, threats, reminder for Show and Tell Day photos, she has decided to let you have a little wenis on Wednesday after all.


Deadline: SATURDAY.

Wenisless Wednesday

Is something holding you back from showing us what you’ve got?


Then no wenis for YOU this Wednesday!

If you want to see wenis here again on Wenis Wednesdays, be sure to enter our Show and Tell Day with a photo submission of ANY ITEM IN YOUR HOUSE.

For details on how to enter, click here.

Deadline: Saturday, March 31st.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Show and Tell Shrine

Obviously you Bitches need some inspiration to photograph ANY ITEM IN YOUR HOUSE and send it in for our upcoming “Show and Tell Day.”

So Mistress MJ presents this Virgin Mary shrine from her own personal collection…

With a simple flick of a switch, you can gently illuminate your room. Makes a great nightlight!

Wind it up and watch the Blessed Virgin’s eyes open and close and her hands fold in prayer to the musical accompaniment of Schubert’s “Ave Maria.”

Mistress MJ bought it at a yard sale in Toronto for 50 cents. Or did I try and talk them down to 25 cents? Because Mistress MJ is cheap a great haggler.

Let us pray for more photo submissions from you Bitches.

For details on how to enter, click here.

Deadline: Saturday!!!

World Whisky Day

Whether you spell it “whisky” or “whiskey” (Mistress MJ prefers to add an “e”)…today marks the first annual World Whisky Day.

Mistress MJ has already started celebrating…

Of course, you're already familiar with our whiskey dispenser so help yourself!...


Monday, March 26, 2012

Just Do It

SHOW AND TELL DEADLINE: SATURDAY, MARCH 31st................................BITCHES

For details on how to enter, click here.

Show and Tell – Al Wilson

While we’re waiting for your Show and Tell Day photos to start pouring in (deadline Saturday!,) let’s listen in on Al Wilson as he sings “Show and Tell” on Soul Train, circa 1973…(with bonus Don Cornelius footage)...

[thanks, Thombeau!]

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Results of the Annual Reader Survey

The phones have been ringing off the hook as you responded to our annual poll…

Yes, the results of the Annual Reader Survey are in!

Here is a partial list of what you, the Infomaniac Bitches, want to see here on Infomaniac…

A regular travelogue feature on 'The Gloryholes of Canada'

A vodka fountain that runs 24/7.

Bibelots. One can never get enough bibelots.

Didn't you promise a scratch & sniff section?

Pirate's cushiony mounds of butt cheek.

WHO (not what) not to wear.


And of course, world peace.

Discussions of literary greats like Barbara Cartland, design workshop on arranging silk flowers, how to suggestions on turning your trailer home into a hacienda,yurt,summer palace, etc., guests like Pavel Petal to teach us the proper way to dress in cock rings and workboots, in general maintaining the high standards that you have already set.

Anal bleaching. Uh, I'm asking for "a friend."

MerkinFest 2012!

The Archaic Harlot.

Butt Trumpets.

Senior Ball Sacks.

Louisiana Lesbiana.

...And I'm a Mormon.

Favorite George: Michael or Boy?

Tupperware Party!

Dessert Toppings. And Bottomings.

I Dream of Jeannie: Erotic Dreams Featuring Celebrities.

Pierced nipples and more pictures of Robert Downey Jr.
I'm not asking for a friend.

[more here]

Why re-decorate Nirvana?

Some fresh, new interior design ideas would be fabulous!
My place is a wreck!

You can never feature too many pies, gowns and queens wearing chapeaus! And those fabulous Filthy Fridays are the best! I also think a nice advice column with you and Norma could be worth hours of laughs!

Yes! An advice column!

Our operators are standing by should you have more suggestions to offer…

On behalf of the staff here at Infomaniac (Mistress MJ, The Houseboys, The Infomaniac Dancers and The Infomaniac Orchestra) we thank you for participating in this Annual Reader Survey.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Annual Reader Survey

It’s that time of year again when Mistress MJ allows you, the Infomaniac Bitches, to give us your feedback on this blog.

Mistress MJ’s personal assistant, Miss Normadesmond, is poised to record your suggestions…

What would you like to see here in 2012?

*Suggestions welcome.


More cock and bum fun, please.
Tasteful discussions on the works of George Eliot. Vegan recipes. Pictures of flowers.
Hot gay midget action.
Donn Coppens with no shirt on chopping down a tree.
I want more 'lifestyle' pieces like 'things to do at home nekkid with nothing but a wok.'
Mud wrestling with kippers!
Bring on the beefcake!
Trannies Freaks and old Bears would be refreshing.
Some knitting patterns would be nice.
Pubic Topiary.

*Mistress MJ will, as usual, ignore all advice.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Sixth Anniversary Cupcakes

As you know if you've read the previous post, Infomaniac is celebrating its SIXTH anniversary.

Thombeau has baked cupcakes for ALL of you!...

Thanks to everyone who dropped by with good wishes and gifts.

And cheers to Mr. Cookie for the anniversary shout-out.

You’re all swell!

Now We Are Six

Infomaniac celebrates its sixth anniversary today!

Let’s keep it simple, shall we?...

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Filthy Friday on Thursday

Because I’ll be posting something else on Friday, let’s get down to Filthy Friday right now.

To the Games Room, Bitches!...

Click pic to enlarge!

Happy Birthday, Mr. DeVice!

THIS tall drink of water is celebrating his birthday on March 22nd…

A Bitch at the beach

Inexplicable DeVice hasn’t blogged since JUNE!

So far, attempts to bring him back have failed. A blogger he’s been stalking, er, admiring, offered to post a photo of himself wearing Speedos if Mr. DeVice would return. Incredibly, that bribe didn't work!

We have no idea if Mr. DeVice is even checking the comments on his blog.

But here’s what we’ll do….

All you Bitches go here and leave comments in his box, insisting upon his return.

Oh, and wishing him a happy birthday as well, of course.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

It's a Spring Thing!

[thanks, Thombeau!]

This reminds me…

Do you recall last August when we asked for your gardening photos?

August was leaving it too late to ask you to snap photos of your prize-winning pansies so this year we’re putting out a reminder to start snapping as soon as your garden is at its peak.

Save those garden photos and send them in when Mistress MJ puts out the call. We’ll do another post this year featuring your gorgeous gardening photos.

Wenis Wednesday – Show and Tell Edition

Before the invention of Post-it notes, people tied a piece of string around their finger as a memory aid.

This also works with balloons…


Tie a balloon around your wenis (or the wenis of someone you love) to remind yourself of the March 31st deadline for Show and Tell Day.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Spring is Here!

Goodbye Old Man Winter…

Hello spring!...

A couple of weeks ago it was -10°C (14°F) and Mistress MJ was wearing a PARKA.

Yesterday, on the other hand, was 26°C (78.8°F) and tomorrow promises a high of 27°C (80.6°F)!

Is your weather wacky?

Monday, March 19, 2012

MJ Vomits in a Vegas Nightclub

After glugging champagne and tequila directly from the bottle, she covertly vomits onto one of the banquets at Haze lounge. She then stumbles out of the club in her see-through leopard print dress.

Back in the hotel room, MJ claims that she lost her purse in the club, though she hadn't even brought it down in the first place. When Reza asks what colour her bag was, she bleats: 'Expensive!'' Asa and Reza take care of their sloppy, drunken pal and even hose her down in a cold shower...while she's still wearing her expensive dress.

In need of a cold shower: Reza hoses MJ off when she becomes too drunk and incoherent

Good friend: Though it's his birthday, Reza still puts MJ in the tub

This is what happens to drunk girls: MJ is the new Snooki

Read more of the article here.

Thanks (?) to Herr Mago for bringing this story to our attention.

Show and Tell DEADLINE Announcement

LX: Did I win? Did I win?

No, LX, you did NOT win because Show and Tell Day is an event, NOT a competition.

Head Mistress MJ asks that her pupils submit their show and tell photos by THE END OF MARCH.

Take a photo of ANYTHING in your house that you’d like to show the rest of us and be sure to include a description to tell us about it.

Now sit down and shut up and get to work.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Show and Tell Day

One day I was minding my own business when AyeM8y emailed me and suggested, “I was just thinking that you should have an "Infomaniac Show and Tell Day". With Head Mistress MJ.”

So how about it, Bitches?

Send us a photo of ANYTHING in your house that you’d like to share with us. (Email address is in my Blogger Profile.)

Something we haven’t seen before on your blog…perhaps even something you wouldn’t share on your blog.


I haven’t decided on a deadline yet.

Just DO it, for feck’s sake.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Honk if You Love Irishmen

[Photos from various editions of the Irish Farmers Calendar.]

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Bitches!

Friday, March 16, 2012

Filthy Friday – St. Patrick’s Day Edition

Infomaniac proverb: Suck an Irishman’s cock for luck!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Birthday List

Mistress MJ is updating the Infomaniac birthday list.


If you'd like to celebrate YOUR birthday here on Infomaniac, tell us your birthday and perhaps you'll get CAKE.

Lordy, Lordy, Damien’s Forty

Infomaniac Bitch Damien turns FORTY today!

What to read? What to read?

May we suggest this?...

Or perhaps you Bitches can offer advice or suggestions for Damien as he enters “midlife and beyond.”

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Winner of The Butchest Bitch Competition!

So who’s the butchest Infomaniac bitch?

She’s a WOMAN, Bitches! W-O-M-A-N!

“See the coat. The coat is made of horsehide. See the gloves. They are made of goatskin. See the hat. The hat is made of 100% Australian wool felt. See the plugs. They are made of Indonesian buffalo horn. See the cigars. They are made of cheap. Add a Native American in jeans, Docs and a black tank top and you have what FirstNations wears on pretty much a daily basis."

Congratulations, Ms. First Nations! YOU are the butchest bitch!!!

Actual quote from Ms. Nations when this contest was proposed…

“I so have this one knocked....
*scratches match on beard stubble, lights cigar* oh yeah.”

Actual quote from Ms. Nations on voting day…

“Everyone seems to be overawed by the mere thought of competing with the powerful 'butch' rays emanating from my butchness. As well you should be! *stands atop pile of burning harleys firing a gun and drinking warm elk blood*”

Thanks to all of you Bitches who did your manly best to assert your inner butch.

All you Bitches who lost … to a WOMAN!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Vote for the Butchest Bitch

It’s time to choose the butchest Bitch!

See for yourself what happened when Infomaniac Bitches were asked to photograph the butchest thing in their house.


Anyone is eligible to vote in the Butchest Bitch Competition.

View the photos, read the descriptions and leave a comment telling us who you think deserves the title of Butchest Bitch.

The winner will be posted sometime on Wednesday, March 14th.

Let’s get started!

"What's the, "BUTCHEST THING IN YOUR HOUSE!", you ask? That would have to be my pneumatic nail gun. I use it with my 33 gal. 6hp. air compressor."

"See the coat. The coat is made of horsehide. See the gloves. They are made of goatskin. See the hat. The hat is made of 100% Australian wool felt. See the plugs. They are made of Indonesian buffalo horn. See the cigars. They are made of cheap. Add a Native American in jeans, Docs and a black tank top and you have what FirstNations wears on pretty much a daily basis."

kabuki zero
"kabuki humbly submits one dirty mechanics tool set, read em and weep bitches. I kabuki zero - oriental princess - is butch beyond reason."

"One never knows when one might experience a little trouble in the “Rumpus Room” resulting from over exuberance and ending in a nasty mishap. What with squeaking sling chains, an over taut rope or two, or even a loose fitting gag... One never knows which skills might be called upon... Princess always has her emergency tool kit at hand. Take it from Princess Darlings... being the good ex Boy Scout that I am... One should always “Be Prepared”."

"Kevin weighs in at just under eight pounds. He's very lovable, and fearless. We did a Mars Genetics Panel on him and he is 50% Jack Russell, 25% Shih Tzu, and 25% other, including .82% Great Dane. He prefers to play with the big dogs at Doggie Daycare. He's cute, but he'll knaw your ankles down to the bone on command."

"The cock screw,err, corkscrew is butch in the Casa, Do you know how hard you have to screw to get it out!"

"My sport briefs are butch, for what I put in them!!!! And some Butch is usually pulling them off!"

"Plunger. Just because I know how to use it is butch enough. I plung with it, shoot it across the yard to get escapee houseboys, and then there's that trick that Macgyver showed me."

"Looking around the house in search of something butch, proved very difficult indeed. Here goes: Vanilla protein powder great for building muscles, I like to add a couple of scoops to my cake/biscuit mixture, you can really taste the vanilla, unlike the extract stuff you get in supermarkets. A replica of Castell Coch in Wales by Liliput Lane, on rainy days I like to sit and gaze at it, I like to pretend I'm Rapunzel locked up in the tower, letting my hair down for passing tradesmen to climb up. A collection of miniature crested china ornaments, I think one of them is a candle snuffer, and lastly some Irish stout to put "hairs on your chest"."

"This pipe wrench is the butchest thing in mrpeenee's house. Through some odd twist that even I am not sure about, I actually have two. Maybe because I am so very butch. Maybe. I also like it because of its popular name, "Monkey Wrench." Monkey wrench is one of the terms I like to say aloud in different funny voices. Try it yourself. The next time you find yourself in the yogurt aisle at the grocery store, or at Liquorette, start repeating "Monkey wrench" in a variety of tones and accents. Be sure to include your Thurston Howell voice. I'm sure you'll be impressed with the results. I know I was."

"Butchest thing i could find, my business card."

"How about a luscious little ice bucket, with a horse-racing theme, made largely from naugahyde?"

Topher’s butch item speaks for itself. No description needed. And yes, it’s really his.

"Pix of the Butchest Thing In The House attached.
Did I win?"