Thursday, June 30, 2011

Canada Day Compo –Coming Soon!

It’s not always this cold here in Canada…


In fact, the temperatures climb well into the 30s in the summer (that’s into the 90s for you folk who haven’t mastered the metric system.)

We’re heating up now for our Canada Day Competition on July 1st.

Be here that day on Infomaniac for your chance to win a special gift pack from Canada!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Coming Soon – Canada Day Competition

Miss Scarlet, upon hearing about the upcoming Canada Day competition here on Infomaniac, paddled her canoe to our fair nation to experience this country first hand.

Unfortunately, she was pulled over by a Mountie for speeding…

Perhaps you’ll have better luck when you participate in our July 1st Canada Day Competition.

The winner will receive a special gift pack from Canada!

Wenis Wednesday



Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Thrift Shoppin' With Mistress MJ

Mistress MJ recently discovered the worst thrift shop in the world. (And I’ve been in a lot of thrift shops.)

Filthy, damp, run by geriatrics in bathrobes and slippers and stuffed haphazardly to the rafters with crap. (Think Collyer Brothers.)

I was just about to flounce out when I found this gem…

(click to enlarge)

At $10 it was a steal compared to its retail value of $50 but I wasn’t about to buy it even for the sake of blogging or auctioning it off to one of you bitches.

As it was behind lock and key in a cabinet (who would steal it?), I didn’t take a photo of the plate … rather, I hoped there would be a good photograph on the Internet.

Unfortunately, I could find only one photo (above) and it does not do justice to the absurdity of the image.

Here then, is a description from this source

"There Ought To Be Clowns collector plate. The 1st Plate in the Annual Telephone Pioneers Collector Series. This is Plate # 770 in an edition strictly limited to 5000 plates. Telephone Pioneer clown troops are active everywhere and this holiday visit to a home brings a great deal of pleasure to the residents. Terry Ward has captured beautifully this bittersweet but richly rewarding visit. Plate in MINT CONDITION complete with Certificate of Authenticity and original box. Approximately 8 1/2" diameter."

I’ve vowed never to return to this grubby grotto of geegaws yet don’t you think the clown plate would go well with my clown painting?

Male Service

The strike we reported on earlier has ended.

Male service, er, MAIL service to Canada resumes today.


Those wishing to send fan mail or hip flasks to Mistress MJ may do so now.

Prize hip flask gathering dust in Princess’s palais

Monday, June 27, 2011

Gossip Gals

So? What went on while Mistress MJ was away?

Spill, bitches.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Fête nationale du Québec

Yay! It’s a public holiday just across the river so Mistress MJ is taking a couple of days off to celebrate.

Catch you later, bitches et Bonne Fête St. Jean!

And yes, there WILL be poutine: the holy trinity of fries, gravy and cheese curds. …

Filthy Friday

You know the drill…leave a comment, bitches.

[Via the always delightful Infomaniac Bitch Zenfancy]

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


Just when you thought it was safe to put down your bidding paddle, we here at Infomaniac are holding another auction!

As if you haven’t accumulated enough crap from the last one…

Today, we will auction off lots from the hovel household of Ms. First Nations.

All items listed are free to a good home with postage paid by Ms. Nations herself and packages sealed with genuine First Nations spittle.

Note: Each photo pictured below represents a PACKAGE. There are several items in each package. They are veritable GRAB BAGS OF HAPPINESS!

LOT #1..."Specially selected to tickle your fancy, these
tittilating, tacky vintage advertisements are suitable for framing! Or just go wild... give your budgie something racy to read! Kosher readers should be warned that pak includes Nazi disco hits. 14 items"…

LOT #2..."Throw away those cheaters and groove on these (mostly) full page pix!! Lotsa color! Pak includes Joan Crawford, Ray Milland, Lil Abner and smoking socialites. 14 items"...

LOT #3..."Relive those thrilling days of yesteryear when 'Home Cookin' meant 'God hates you!' Mostly black and white, mainly from the1920's, these advertisements comemorate the days when the FDA was only a laughable suggestion and baby food meant 'liver soup'. 5 items."
Update:"I just added a super secret Special Gift to Lot#3 because it is so skimpy."...

Unfortunately, Mr. Egyptian Penis Man is not included in Ms. Nations' auction lot…

But one day he will be mine!

Let the bidding begin, Bitches!

Monday, June 20, 2011


The Infomaniac Thrift Shop Auction is now underway!

You have all day today and Tuesday to place your bids.

Here’s how it works…

Do you see a photo of something you want? Great! Now leave a comment for the “seller” saying why you want the item.

The “seller” will decide who gets his/her item depending on how much he/she likes your comment.

So be witty, be charming, or just grovel…whatever it takes to make the seller sit up and take notice of you.

No money will be exchanged. These items are free and the seller will pay for the postage.

Let’s meet our “sellers” now and let’s get the bidding started!

An autobiography of Miss Lana Turner. The bit about Johnny Stompanato alone is worth the price.

"I bought these sexy playing cards about 15 years ago as a souvenir from Spain, the box is a bit tired looking but all 54 cards are in mint condition. Ideal for playing "solitaire" They are yours for a good sob story, make it extra juicy and I might throw in a surprise bonus!"

"Is this your sheep? Now is your chance to get your sleek, slender and well manicured hands on this naughty little massage sheep. It has all the sexual requirements an Infomaniac bitch could ever want or need. The seductive smile, sexily cross-eyed and the very provoking dirty grey tail. Now is your chance to get this naughty little minx for your collection. Come on, you know you (have) want it."

"Here's your chance to get your grubby little hands on the one of a kind, ultra exclusive SayHey Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Competition photo SIGNED by the wearer (CyberPete). This is a once in a lifetime opportunity that cannot be missed. Bid now, and bid high bitches."

“In honor of our busy beaver hostess MJ, a Canada fridge magnet! Approximate width 1.5 inches (35 mm). Made in China.”

“I'll donate a pale pink embroidered negligee with a handkerchief hem. Bust size 12B but would probably fit up to a 14C as featured in this post

NOTE: Nursemyra is referring to Australian sizes but says this will fit most sizes except you full-figured extra large gals. Here's a handy bra size converter.

"My father had an interesting life, he made things....Electronic Engineer…For the government.....From the Forties thru the Sixties, (as far as I know)....He was intellectually privy, (I don't know what that's like)..


Five original '8x'10 glossies of things that were classified in their time, (we don't know what that is like either).... Purple ink is stamped on the back of most of the photos, that command you not to share. Some handwriting, I believe, (too tired to look again)...

And a side story:

When dad died, young, in August of 1990, more than a few boxes and a couple of gizmos disappeared from the basement of our Ohio home.........There were three of us independently in the house at the time. So, you tell me.

These photos would look great framed somewhere."

“For the Thrift Shop, and in keeping with my position at The Infomaniac House of Beauty, I have on offer a barely used pot of Estee Lauder Double Wear Mineral Rich Loose Powder Makeup [intensity 1.0]. I have used it three times, but alas this product doesn't suit my delicate skin tone; this makeup can look heavy if not carefully applied. I hasten to add that there is no arsenic within this product and no risk of contracting leprosy through its use. *Glares at Mr Pirate*”

“Here is my offering for the Infomaniac thrift shop. They are three lovely cards of craft lace, slightly used. I have known bitches to start brawling with each other just to get their hands on these little darlings. They just don’t make lace like this any more!”

Two very tasteful ties or cravats. 100% polyester. At least 30 years old.
Number one: Pinkish blobs over blue-grey background; kind of "reflecting"
Number two: Timeless dessin of red and creme stripes over black background combined with squares
Both items are in excellent condition, no stains whatsoever, no burn marks.

And finally…

A packet of HandzOff Anti-Masturbatory Gum that has been gathering dust in Mistress MJ’s closet for at least a year.”

That's it.

Now, BID, Bitches, BID!!!

NOTE TO SELLERS: Make your final decision on who gets your item after I post a comment late Tuesday night (EDT) saying “Bidding has ended.” After you see that, leave a comment telling us who the lucky recipient of your item is. We ask all the sellers to have selected their winners by sometime on Wednesday.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Crowd Control

Please behave in an orderly fashion as you wait for the Infomaniac Thrift Shop Auction to begin.

Mistress MJ is still waiting for a last-minute entry but the auction will begin, as promised, sometime on Monday.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Waiting for the Auction

Busybodies Princess, Norma, and Mitzi were found peering into the Infomaniac Thrift Shop window in an attempt to see the auction merchandise on offer…

Mistress MJ advises everyone to wait until Monday when the items will be revealed and the bidding will begin.

If you haven’t yet submitted your thrift shop item, follow the rules laid out here.

All are invited to bid on items on Monday, regardless of whether you’ve submitted an item or not.

In the meantime, Princess, Norma and Mitzi are sullenly nursing their milk stouts back in the Infomaniac Cocktail Lounge…

Coming Soon – Thrift Shop Auction

Be here MONDAY for the exciting Infomaniac Thrift Shop Auction!


Everyone can bid regardless of whether you’ve submitted a thrift shop item or not.

CLICK HERE for details on how to enter.

You have until SUNDAY to submit photos of your items.

How will the auction work, you ask?

If you see an item you want, leave a comment saying why you want it.

The “seller” will decide if you get it or not based on how much he/she likes your comment.

So be witty, be charming, or simply grovel if you want an item badly enough.

No money will be exchanged. However, the “seller” must pay for shipping and handling so make sure the item you submit for bidding is lightweight. No one wants to spend a fortune in postage for something they're giving away for free!

See you Monday, bitches!

p.s. We expect a good deal of bidding and haggling will take place and we expect you to behave like ladies and gentlemen. We don't want anyone leaving here with "cake face" ...

Friday, June 17, 2011

More Filthy Friday


Because something this good can’t wait for Wenis Wednesday.

Don’t Leave Home Without It

Mistress MJ cannot, I repeat, cannot leave home without her lippy…


What about you, bitches?


What can’t you leave home without?

Filthy Friday


Clicking to biggify the photo is an option, should you want a closer look.

Thursday, June 16, 2011


While Mistress MJ is waiting for you bitches to submit your photos for the upcoming Infomaniac Thrift Shop auction, I’ll just flip through my copy of “Cocktail”…

(click pic to biggify)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Fan Mail

As much as Mistress MJ loves receiving fan mail from you bitches…

Please hold off mailing anything to me until our postal strike is over.

You will be updated here on that happy day.

Unfortunately, this means a delay in receiving my prize hip flask...

...that I won for being the joint winner (along with Miss Savannah) of the “Most Appealing Frock” in Princess’s Fabulous Frock Competition.

Oh fiddle-dee-dee

And then there’s that other thing I ordered.

Thrift Shop Lineup

We know you’re anxious to peek at what items will be up for grabs in next week’s Thrift Shop auction but you’ll just have to wait…


Take a pic of your treasure and send it to me by Sunday, June 19th and be sure to include a little blurb about it.

For more details about the upcoming auction and how to participate, click here.

Wenis Wednesday