Saturday, January 31, 2009

Recurring Bra Dream

Mistress MJ is having that dream again…

(click to inflate)

Friday, January 30, 2009

Filthy Friday

It seems that Piggy’s arse has lost its novelty and that some of you are demanding an edgier, filthier Filthy Friday.

You may thank Beast, who provided this link to Le Pamplemousse.

Pamplemousse, for those not versed in the art of love, is French for grapefruit. We think you’ll make the connection by viewing this photo…

Coincidentally, grapefruit is one of many fruits that Beast enjoys inserting up his backside but that’s another story and one you’re all too familiar with.

So for those of you looking for your Filthy Friday fix, if this description of Le Pamplemousse gets your blood tingling…

Le Pamplemousse has developed a permanently pumped basket and enjoys showing it off in creative ways. He's an expert at pumping both cock and balls, shaping his foreskin and his sac into perfect pumper forms. As a muscle bear, he goes for the gusto of heavy duty pumping !

…then click here to see more.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Devil Made Me Eat It

Satan forced my hand to devour a packet of dark chocolate-coated HobNobs in the middle of the night.

Have you ever stood in peril in your pantry?

Felt temptation as you knelt in the darkened kitchen before the dim glow of the refrigerator light?

Come forth and testify that you too have succumbed to Satan’s power!

Your fat arse belongs to Beelzebub!!!

Can I get an amen?

If this HobNob addiction continues, I’ll soon be…

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Results of the Reader Survey

By popular demand: gratuitous nude photos of Old Knudsen

The results of the Annual Reader Survey are in and clearly you want more Old Knudsen.

A full list of your desires follows:

Giant naked disembodied penises.
Can we have some more bondage and discipline please?
Everything that the Tubes said that I could have in their song What Do You Want From Life?!
More shaved beaver.
How about a couple more contests as well, i love entering blog contests!!!
More recipes !
Hot gay midget action.
I'd like to see naked Action Man Tim again.
A bit of your lair?
Perverted marmosets.
Something that contravenes the UK's extreme pornography law please.
A little pain (consensual), perhaps?
I'd like to see ten uses for a sea cucumber.
More illustrations of Camden leisure pirates.
Maybe you could just be more cruel to us?
A monthly diary of what's been happening inside those stripy tights.
A picture of how far you can work the Jameson in?
Canadian landmarks!
An essay on the Canadian beaver!
A treaty and deadline for the repatriation of Celine Dion!
Nekkid young men who are not sagging!
Mud wrestling with kippers!
More Old Knudsen in General.
Lots more Old Knudsen please!!!!!!
Some hot naked midgit sex please and more of that cunt Old Knudsen.
Your bed.
Fewer cross-dressers and More very angry-indeed –dressers.
More waiters with their clothes on.
More chain smoking chimps please.
Filthy Friday to start living up to its name.
Donn Coppens with no shirt on chopping down a tree.
Beast posed the dead man in the foreground in 'Raft of the Medusa'.
Voices starting a new blog.
Frobi rising nude and glorious from a wine dark sea.
Any franconians.
IDV standing in the sand of the colliseum shouting 'are you not amused??' and brandishing his sword.
Knudsen. Just pretty much anything with Knudsen. Or his hat.

Are we finished here now or did we forget anything?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Annual Reader Survey

This blog needs more pussy

It’s that time of year again when Infomaniac allows you, our Bitches, to give us your feedback on this blog.

What would you like to see here in 2009?

*Suggestions welcome.


Saggy, nekkid old men. Or perhaps a still life of a basket of fruit from the Tate Modern.

-- Beast

We’d like to see a big rancid cream cake stuffed up Beast’s arse.

-- Piggy and Tazzy

Orangutan buttocks. Or a nice set of baboon buttocks.

-- Garfer

More features about Old Knudsen cos he is my favourite.

-- Old Knudsen and everyone else who reads this blog

Me, impaled on Old Knudsen’s cock.

-- Leah and a dozen other female readers and one fella who didn't want us to mention his name

Nekkid blokes. That’s it. Just nekkid blokes.

-- KAZ

How about a sewing circle?

-- Scarlet

Editor’s note: How about some subversive cross stitch instead?...

Monica Bellucci’s fine ass.

-- Donn

Editor’s note: That topic is getting borrringgg. Don’t you covet anyone else’s ass?

Photos of your dainty feet, Mistress.

-- Mago

Hot young men in skimpy outfits.

-- CyberPete

Editor’s note: Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen.

Dugongs. Toilet Planters. Giant turkeys of death. Inbred children eating dirt by the side of the road. Cheese rolling and border skirmishes. Oh wait. That’s my blog.

-- First Nations

*Infomaniac will, as usual, ignore all advice.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Primate Pipe-Smokers

It has come to our attention that some of you need a good cheering up.

And what better way than to look at pictures of pipe-smoking chimpanzees!

Caveat: Infomaniac does not endorse primate pipe-smoking nor the actions of pipe-smoking primates nor the contents of said pipes.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Open Wide

Today Infomaniac poses the question:

What is the biggest object you’ve ever fit into your mouth?

And /Or

What is the greatest number of similar objects (e.g. gumballs or marshmallows) that you’ve fit into your mouth at once?

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Scratchin’ On Heaven’s Door


Anonymous Boxer’s wee chihuahua Paco died on Friday morning following a brief illness.

Heaven’s head bitch (pictured below) awaiting Paco’s arrival...

Paco was an Internet star and entertained us with his many moods, costume changes and video performances.

If we were lucky, we received greetings cards in the post with his image on them. Just like this one!...

The staff here at Infomaniac (Mistress MJ, The Houseboys and The Infomanaic Dancers) invite you to share stories of your furry friends who have passed through to the Great Garden in the Sky and are waiting there to toss a ball to Paco.

Oh look! Here’s one of them now…

Ms. Nations’ old Opie

Friday, January 23, 2009

Filthy Friday

Since becoming a member yesterday of Blogger’s “Content Warning” club, we wondered, “What can we post for our first xxx-tra Filthy Friday?”

So we dug into our photo folders and found our most objectionable image…

Piggy’s arse

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Giant Underpants Giveaway

Just as CHANGE is the buzzword of the day...

...there are going to be Changes at Infomaniac.

Mistress MJ and The Houseboys have begun sorting through the flotsam and jetsam chez Infomaniac in preparation for our move across Canada later this year.

And we’re discovering all sorts of forgotten gems.


With so much sorting and packing to be done, we simply cannot keep everything.

So we are offering you this chance to claim the GIANT UNDERPANTS for your very own.

The big knickers are clean, by the way, and have never been worn. Yes, they’re still in the package.

If you covet these GIANT UNDERPANTS, please state why you should have them.

Mistress MJ will send them to the most deserving Bitch based on how much she likes your answer.

You can read more about the World’s Largest Underpants here.

Photo taken by Mistress MJ at Archie McPhee in Seattle

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


In 1975, the Vietnam War ended; Spanish dictator Franco died; the British Conservative Party chose it's first women leader, Margaret Thatcher; Muhammad Ali beat Joe Frazier in the "Thriller In Manila" match; Sony introduced Betamax videotapes and Matsushita / JVC introduced VHS; Angelina Jolie and Russell Brand were both born on June 4th; ‘Love Will Keep Us Together’ by The Captain and Tennille was the number one hit on the Billboard charts; and men looked like this

Monday, January 19, 2009

Faggots Galore

Warehouse sale! Prices slashed! Everything must go!

Infomaniac has stockpiled an oversupply of faggots. We have a wide variety of overstock, discontinued, slight irregulars and showroom samples priced to move.

State your style and size preferences.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Smut-Free Sunday

Good news! Satan has been paralyzed.

Could it have been looking at this group that rendered him powerless?...

In praise of Satan’s paralysis, let’s all sing along with the Christian Pirate Puppets, shall we?

(Warning: You’ll be praying for it to end after the first few seconds)…

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Happy Birthday, Kapitano!

No, no, Kapi. Your birthday pressie isn’t in there

It’s here!...

Friday, January 16, 2009

Filthy Friday

Click to make it BIG!...

Thursday, January 15, 2009


Can you help the people who’ve arrived on Infomaniac via Google searches, looking for the answers to these questions?…

what is cake farting? why did that happen?

Has there ever been a reported case of armpit sex?

is it rude to use a gum massager in public?

If you know the answer to any of the above questions, please leave your answer in the comments box.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Periodic Functional Distress

Mistress MJ is suffering from Periodic Functional Distress.

Please seek entertainment elsewhere.

In fact, go on over and read Random Chick’s first draft of her article about why we blog, entitled “A Place Where Everybody Knows Your Name…Sort Of”.

Now feck off whilst I take to my fainting couch.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Faulty Uterus

Do you have a plush uterus?

If so, I Heart Guts is recalling your uterus for failing to pass a safety standards test.

See those fallopian tubes?

If you pull too hard on them, the ovaries will pop off.

A popped ovary may become a choking hazard.

Oh and just for the record….

Mistress MJ’s uterus does NOT have a smiley face! In fact, it will spit at you and call you a snivelling bastard if you come anywhere near it. Mistress MJ will happily trade her uterus for a handful of magic beans.

On a brighter note, your plush heart, lungs, liver and kidneys are still safe...

Monday, January 12, 2009

Banish Those Bingowings

Ladies: If advertisers haven’t already convinced you that you’re too fat, too old or too ugly, read on.

Now they want you to focus your attention on those pesky problem areas: your flabby underarms and your thunder thighs.

Bingowings (noun): Large, loose flaps of skin hanging from the upper arms.

The term “Bingowings” appears to have originated in the bingo hall custom of raising your arm and yelling “Bingo!” when you think you’ve won.

Do you suffer from wobbly bits and loose, droopy skin such as bingowings or jiggly thighs?

Try Slim Tape!

Can’t afford liposuction?

Try Slim Tape!

Hate exercise?

Try Slim Tape!

Slim Tape takes the wiggle out of the wobble!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Nasty Knickers

Mistress MJ is not the sort to go rummaging through your knickers drawers.

Miss Scarlet, on the other hand, peeked into Beast’s boudoir and found these shocking skivvies…

Beast’s Lurex purple posing pouch

Now over to you, bitches.

What’s the shameful secret in your undies drawer?

Is there a pair you’d be ashamed to be caught wearing in the hospital if you had an accident?

If you don’t own any underpants of shame, then what’s your most unusual undergarment?

Saturday, January 10, 2009

No Post Today

There's no post here today.

I warned you there would be Changes at Infomaniac, didn’t I?

Oh what the hell. You’re here so I’ll throw you a bone.

Here are just a handful of Google searches that led folk to find Infomaniac recently…

show me your bearded taco

I could eat a scabby horse between two bread vans

old fags paying to get laid

bitch slap the french

Fat men with small cocks

See you Sunday. I’m off to a birthday party.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Filthy Friday

Mistress MJ has no recollection of finding this photo.

Therefore, one of you filthy bitches must have emailed it to her or perhaps she nicked it from your blog.

In any case, Infomaniac does not accept responsibility for any brain damage or loss of vision resulting from gazing upon this image.

Note: For those of you pervs (Rich, are you listening?) who only visit Infomaniac on Filthy Fridays, please read Changes at Infomaniac before proceeding further.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Hazardous Hairspray

"This was not just a little can of deodorant, this was a massive can of hairspray."

We here at Infomaniac know how folk love to shove wacky stuff up their arses.

So that’s why we’re presenting you with the following news item as sourced from The Sun

SHOCKED surgeons were forced to use their imagination after operating on a woman with a huge can of hairspray stuck in her bum.

Mirela Gradinaru, 37, arrived at the clinic in Arad, western Romania, in agony, begging docs to help.

But she refused to tell surgeons how the can came to be lodged in her rear even after a successful operation dislodged the canister.

Mirandolina Prisca, a doctor at the clinic, explained: "We had X-rays done to localise the object and then we carried out the operation. The patient was fine after it.

"She was very embarrassed. She was clearly in a lot of pain, however it got there."

"This was not just a little can of deodorant, this was a massive can of hairspray," said one hospital worker.

Note: If you haven’t already read Changes at Infomaniac, do so NOW.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Changes at Infomaniac

Changes are underway at Infomaniac.

As you can see, The Houseboys are completely out of control again.

Mistress MJ cannot possibly keep up the blogging pace and manage The Houseboys.

Something’s gotta give.

As a result, in 2009, posts may be fewer and farther between.

Mistress MJ may not be able to respond to your comments personally with each and every post.

And finally, she may not have the chance to visit your blogs as often as she wishes.

This situation is temporary but may take up the better part of 2009 as the staff of Infomaniac (Mistress MJ, The Houseboys, and The Infomaniac Dancers) prepare to move thousands of kilometres (that's thousands of miles for you Yanks) cross-country later this year.

Please refrain from whinging.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Infomaniac Annual Review

Infomaniac 2008…HAI!

2008 on Infomaniac: What a year! Let’s look back, shall we?


First of all, we rolled out the welcome mat …

… as a bevy of new Bitches joined Infomaniac this year including (in date order):

T-Bird (January), Inner Voices (February), Savannah (March), Random Chick (April), Kookaburra (May), Gordie (June), Leah (June), Practically Joe (June), XL (July), Ponita (July), Hef (July), CSI Seattle (July), Maxi Cane (August), Ginro (September), Scarlet (October), and Famulus (November).

And many more!


Infomaniac got off to a rocky start in January when Mistress MJ nearly closed the doors indefinitely.

Things were looking dismal until our favourite Irish waiter came along to save the day. Manuel promised Mistress MJ a photo of his bare bottom if Infomaniac would remain open for business. How could we refuse?

Our hero: Manuel’s arse…

But it wasn’t just Manuel who swayed Mistress MJ’s mind. We wish to thank a host of other Infomaniac supporters who kept this boat afloat…

And here we are a year later, still up and running, thanks to all of you bitches.


Infomaniac was the lucky recipient of several awards including the prestigious Knudsen Award for Most Filthy Blogger 2008


2008 was a year of new enterprises getting off the ground at Infomaniac:

Infomaniac Airlines took flight…

We created a retirement home for aging homosexuals

As a public service to lonely hearts everywhere we created a dating agency…

In a competition, we asked you to come up with a name for the agency and the winner was Old Knudsen who thought up this gem…

Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service.

Many of you have had success with the Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service but most especially Inexplicable DeVice (IVD) who hasn’t been blogging or commenting much lately since he achieved his new “smug married” status.


You just never knew what would happen next on Infomaniac.

2008 was the year we discovered cake farts!...

Following everyone’s disgust with cake farts, we temporarily turned Infomaniac into a knitting blog

Mistress MJ’s knitted uterus was ceremoniously flung at Beast’s head but ended up in a tree

Many of you submitted photographs of your pussies and bitches…

Mistress MJ was kidnapped by the Yakuza!...


A number of new series began on Infomaniac in 2008.

Perv of the Day:

In the Perv of the Day series, we seek out the perviest perverts and parade them pantless in front of you, the judge and jury.

Drunk of the Day:

The Drunk of the Day series title pretty much sums it up…we examine the wacky hijinks that folk get up to under the influence of alcohol.

Domestic Dispute of the Day:

In the Domestic Dispute of the Day series, we examine domestic quarrels that got out of hand.

*makes note to add more than one entry to make it a true series*

Plonker of the Day:

In the Plonker of the Day series we examine the ineptitudes of careless criminals.

*makes note to add more than one entry to make it a true series*

Perplexing Pic:

Not that I refrained from using “of the Day” in the title for the Perplexing Pic series.

*makes note to add more than one entry to make it a true series*

Your Favourite Post:

Your Favourite Post is a series that invites you, the readers, to submit your fave post as written by you on your blog.

Anyone who hasn’t submitted their fave post yet may do so at any time.

Celebrity Arse:

With the Celebrity Arse series, Infomaniac readers were invited to tell which celebrity’s bum they’d most like to see and we posted the results.

Here for example, was Donn’s choice.

Donn in close contact with Monica Bellucci’s buttocks


We here at Infomaniac love hosting contests and 2008 saw this fun-filled competition...

The How Not to Decorate Competition...

Winning entry


Parties? Oh yeah, we had ‘em. Because we know you bitches love to mix and mingle and pee in the planters.

Remember The Sunday Social Potluck in April?

That’s where you were ordered, er, invited to click on the Infomaniac Blogroll and visit someone you’d never visited before. It was a huge success and several of you made new friends. Let’s do it again sometime!

The Pizza and Bongos Party to celebrate the ending of Mistress MJ’s 12-days-in-a-row work hell…

We threw a bitchin’ Pool Party!...

Yes, that’s where we first saw IVD show off his leopard print bikini…

Infomaniac’s First Annual Christmas Office Party

Who can forget when Geoff xeroxed his arse and broke the photocopier? Hilarious!


So this is just a sampling of the year that was on Infomaniac. There was so much more…naked old men in socks, nipple tweaking, naked gardening… you name it, we did it!

But we couldn’t have done it without you, the Infomaniac Bitches. You’re all barking mad but you’re all swell and we thank you for your friendship.

On behalf of the staff here at Infomaniac (Mistress MJ, The Houseboys, and The Infomaniac Dancers) we thank you for a great ’08 and we wish you health and happiness and houseboys in 2009.

Please be sure to tip the houseboys on your way out.

Note: No new posting ‘til later this week.