Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year, Bitches!

We here at Infomaniac (Mistress MJ, The Houseboys, The Infomaniac Dancers, The Infomaniac Orchestra and The Infomaniac All Girl Revue) wish you a happy 2010.

Thanks to all of you for a fab 2009.

Note: Miss Savannah celebrates her birthday on New Year’s Eve. If you have time between sips of champagne, pop over to wish her a happy birthday.

Monday, December 28, 2009

New Year's Eve Preparations

As you can see, it's all Mistress MJ can do to control the hijinks chez Infomaniac at this celebratory time of year …

As she is run ragged at the moment, there will be no new post ‘til Thursday.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Disciplinary Duties

Disciplinary duties prevent Mistress MJ from making her usual visits to your blogs.

She will pop ‘round when time permits.

Thursday, December 24, 2009


Merry Christmas from Mistress MJ and all the holiday whores Houseboys!

And since Christmas falls this year on a Friday, Happy Filthy Friday – Christmas Edition!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Christmas With Family

To those of you who will be spending Christmas with family …

Good luck with that, bitches!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Mistletoe Belt Buckle

It’s that special time of year again when Mistress MJ dons her Mistletoe Belt Buckle …

Please form an orderly queue to plant your Christmas kiss on Mistress MJ.

No pushing or shoving.

There’s plenty of Mistress MJ to go around for everyone.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Crocs Menorah

Yes, that’s right.

A Crocs Menorah …

(click to enlarge if the sight of a thousand Crocs doesn't nauseate you)

1,000 pairs of Crocs were collected to form the world’s first Crocs Menorah which was lit for Chanukah /Hanukkah.
*waits for one of Infomaniac's token Jews to determine correct spelling of this holiday*

Unfortunately, the Crocs themselves were not lit aflame and burned in a Crocs bonfire.

As you know, Mistress MJ detests Crocs and is holding the entire Jewish population responsible for this abomination.

This shiksa must now lie down in a darkened room with a cold compress.

Sunday, December 20, 2009


Are you bitches still out shopping for Mistress MJ’s Christmas pressies?

Remember: You oughta get the best for me …

Saturday, December 19, 2009

An Invitation to Palais de Steff

You are cordially invited to the royal event of the season.

New Infomaniac bitch, Princess, welcomes you to Palais de Steff

The Princess is throwing open the doors of his Australian palace to you, complete with free cocktails and randy houseboys-in-training.

Pop over and welcome him to our world, won’t you?

And remember to treat him like a lady.

Click here to be transported.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Christmas Hair Party

Frankly, after the fiasco that was last year’s Christmas Office Party, we are NOT attempting to throw such a bash again. Who can forget when Geoff tried to Xerox his arse and fell through the glass?

Instead, let’s all take a trip to the salon and have our hair done!

C’mon. It’ll be fun!

Cocktails will be served! …

Yes, of course men are welcome! …

We’ve got all the latest gossip magazines …

And if that isn’t enough, you can gossip about all the other bloggers! …

And do you know what that dreadful whore Ayem8y did next?

Our more hirsute bitches (like Donn, below) may wish to take advantage of the salon’s esthetics services …

Ms. Nations might want to consider a Brazilian ...

Do you have a problem with unwanted hair “down there”? Then book an appointment for a personalized “back, sack and crack” wax! …

Esthetician Old Knudsen treats Manuel to special hair removal technique

Hint to the matronly Mr. Frobisher (below, left)…
Take advantage of our free makeovers! …

Mr. Peenee, put that cigarette out! …

Our two newest Infomaniac bitches, Lord Boggler (standing) and Princess Steff (seated and temporarily blogless) are enjoying an Herbal Essence moment

Ooooo…harder, Lord Boggler

UPDATE: Princess Steff now has a blog! Visit Palais de Steff.

Why, even Beast is looking his best! …

So come along now. Our shampoo girl Mitzi is ready for you …

Don’t worry. Mitzi’s been training for years …

There’s just one rule we MUST enforce …

No hairpulling! Yes, I’m talking to YOU, Leah! …

Enjoy your Christmas hair party, bitches!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Gifts for Gays

‘Tis the season to shop for the Houseboys’ gifts.

Not that they deserve it.

Every time Mistress MJ’s back is turned, they’re up to their usual hijinks …

Nonetheless, we can’t bear to see their disappointed angelic faces under the Christmas tree if Santa doesn’t come.

So help a bitch out.

98 per cent of the Houseboys are as queer as queer can be.

I haven’t a clue what to get them for Christmas this year.

Lord knows they have every Madonna CD.

And no one needs another rainbow key fob or leather daddy teddy bear.

What great gay gifts can you suggest?

And what are you getting the gays in your life?


Mistress MJ loves this gift suggestion from Felix in Hollywood

Monday, December 14, 2009

Men’s Underwear

We’re not quite sure what’s going on here …

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Happy Birthday, Geoff!

Birthday greetings go out today to our Geoff in Kent, England.

“I have followed MJ's every move since day one of Infomaniac, like some crazed stalker.”
- Geoff

Geoff (along with his charming wife Betty) has the honour of being our longest-serving Infomaniac bitch.

Oh sure, others would soon follow: Tazzy and Piggy, Inexplicable DeVice (IVD), First Nations, KAZ, Donn, Kapitano, Frobisher, and Beast to name just a few.

But Geoff has been with Mistress MJ since day one of Infomaniac!

You can’t buy loyalty like that!

Note to Geoff: Your cheque is in the mail.

Happy birthday,Geoff!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Book Title of the Year

Help us decide which one of these titles deserves the ‘Book Title of the Year’ award.

You've seen this one before here on Hallowe'en ...

The Haunted Vagina by Carlton Mellick III


Ass Goblins of Auschwitz by Cameron Pierce

We can't decide!

What's your choice, bitches?


The race for Book Title of the Year was neck-in-neck and at the time of posting this update, it was so close and some of your comments so ambiguous, that we have declared it a tie.

And so the Book Title of the Year Award goes to both THE HAUNTED VAGINA by Carlton Mellick III and ASS GOBLINS OF AUSCHWITZ by Cameron Pierce.

The Haunted Vagina is best summarized as follows:

“It's difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead.”

Ain’t that the truth?

Ass Goblins of Auschwitz introduces us to a race of fascist, flatulent, cider-swilling aliens, conjoined twins, and toilet toads.

And if that isn’t enough, the story involves chocolate cake too!

And you know how we feel about cake.

Thanks to everyone who participated!

And thanks to Ass Goblin’s author Cameron Pierce for mentioning Infomaniac on his blog today!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Filthy Friday

Click to biggify. You know you want to!

Dang! I just remembered this was supposed to have a Christmas theme.

I'll leave that up to your imaginations.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

High Maintenance Queen(s) Crowned!

Infomaniac is pleased to present the title of High Maintenance Queen to …

(drum roll, please)


After a hair-pulling, wig-snatching, back-biting and venom-spitting smackdown, Jill and CyberPete proved to be equally matched in the high maintenance department.

So they each win a fabulous sticky notes pad! …

Congratulations to the runners-up: First Nations, Michael Guy and Kevin.

Although Michael, it seems, has taken issue with his defeat and is emailing the officials and calling for an appeal as we speak …

With God as my witness that tiara should have been MINE!

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Jill vs CyberPete Smackdown!

It’s a tiebreaker, bitches!

Jill and CyberPete have tied in the battle for the High Maintenance Queen crown and now they must battle it out in a no holds barred smackdown!

This promises to be the bitchfight of the year, ladies and gentlemen!

Book NOW for your ringside seat as seating is limited.

Bring your own booze.

Free condoms and corndogs with price of admission.

Corndogs provided by runner-up Ms. Nations

Who will take home the crown?

Place your bets for Infomaniac’s next High Maintenance Queen.

Who is your money riding on?

Note: A big round of applause for our losers runners-up: Michael Guy and First Nations (tied for 1st runner-up) and Kevin (trailing toilet tissue from his heels as he attempts to catch up to Michael and Ms. Nations.)

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Vote for the High Maintenance Queen

Mistress MJ has chosen the final five contestants for Infomaniac's High Maintenance Queen.

Please select one Queen from the following list:

Note: You cannot vote for yourself!


How dare you imply that I'm high maintenance. I'm not high maintenance, I just like attention, Goddammit. GAH!
I'm so tired of everyone saying I'm high maintenance. Why is it my fault that I know exactly what I want? GAH!
It's such an insult to be branded high maintenance. And of you don't know why, I'm certainly not going to tell you!
I mean, how could you not know.


I just don't understand why everything has to end up with drama and tears. I thought you'd know by now, that I refuse to eat unpeeled grapes and brown m&m's.
Where do you find these no talent bitches! I said breakfast at 7.00, and now it's 7.13. I don't want anything to do with this anymore, I'm going. Goodbye!
And somebody find my shoes! I need my Choo's!
And where's my water. I can only have the kind with the electrolytes!
Is someone smoking? I can't have anyone smoking within a radius of 500 meters of me! Someone get that man out of here.
What's this? What's happening? Your outfit is so loud the penguins can hear it screaming on the south pole.
You are so full of drama, I need to lay down for a while!
No, no! White silk sheets, not eggshell! I don't do eggshell.
You lot are doing my head in!
Beastie how very dare you use my name!
I need Bollinger and Godiva. NOW!
How very dare you Roses!
Now fetch me a cocktail, stat!
A glass of red would be lovel.. *aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!*
I *NEED* a gin martini!




I thought about entering this for maybe one second before I decided not to associate myself with anything so declasse'. Me? I mean, really, me? I mean this blog is tacky. Look at this blog. The color scheme simply screams 'catatonia'. And whats that horrible smell IS THAT YOU? WHO'S WEARING OLD SPICE? OH MY GOD IS THAT OLD SPICE? I SMELL LIME! Sweet sainted mother of Kylie Minogue *takes out purse-sized Febreeze and brandishes it about like a fire extinguisher* Hello, indoor air pollution anybody? Oh pissbiscuits; does anyone have a Benadryl? Oh wonderful now I'm getting HIVES look at my arms I'm getting HIVES OH NOW MY LIFE IS TOTALLY COMPLETE I HAVE HIVES OH GREAT! JUST GREAT! Well I'm ready for my closeup now aren't I? I can feel my throat swelling shut I swear to God COME ON WITH THE BENADRYL PEOPLE; I KNOW SOMEONE HAS SOME heaven knows you're all ready to whip out the poppers and condoms at a moments notice in this sinkhole COME ON, AND A BOTTLED WATER TOO PLEASE no I do not want a glass of water, is that TAP WATER? HELLO? CANADIAN TAP WATER? REALLY? REALLY????? *slaps glass out of houseboy's hand and collapses into tears* Nobody worry about me! I'll just find myself a dirty old corner and curl up and suffocate to death on department store aftershave fumes, don't mind me! *snif* just lay me out right here on the downmarket berber OH LORDY WHAT IN THE NAME OF GUMBY AND POKEY IS UP WITH THIS CARPET? Is this a color found in nature? Do you raise puppies? What is this color? We need to talk about this color. Well we would except my trachea is closing. COULD WE SNAP IT UP WITH THE BENADRYL LADIES? AND A CASCADE SPRINGS? And a slice of lemon?


I'd really like to participate in your quaint contest but I don't like to keep Soo Yee waiting at the nail bar...

Who will you choose as Infomaniac’s High Maintenance Queen?


A winner will be announced sometime on Wednesday.

Monday, December 07, 2009

High Maintenance Queen Competition

Yay! Another contest!

Here’s your chance to win this sticky notes pad …

High maintenance doesn’t begin to cover it

All you have to do is tell us why you are a high maintenance bitch.

Mistress MJ will post her TOP FIVE favourite entries on Tuesday and you will be asked to vote on your fave.

This will not be easy since you’re ALL high maintenance in my opinion.

Get your entry in before 8:00 p.m. PST (Pacific Standard Time) on Monday, December 7th.

Use this handy World Clock to find out what time that is in your neck of the woods.

Good luck, bitches!

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Coming Monday

Now you can look forward to Monday with a smile on your face …

(click pic for bigger dick)

Infomaniac will be holding a contest on Monday, December 7th.

Yes, it’s that time of year when Mistress MJ is clearing out a load of cheap tat from her closet and passing the worst of it onto YOU!

Well, actually there’s only one prize.

And it’s small.

But come back on Monday to enter the competition!

Wait! There's a birthday post for Donn under this one!

Happy Birthday, Donn!

Happy Birthday, Donn!

Join the queue HERE to give Donn a big birthday kiss.