Thursday, August 31, 2006

The Brothels of Nevada




Looking for a diversion or perversion on your next vacation? Why not visit Nevada’s brothels?

Prostitution is legal in certain counties in Nevada but not in the city of Las Vegas.





It was like pulling teeth to find out the brothel locations as I had forgotten to pack my bordello map. The Vegas locals and members of the hospitality industry all denied any knowledge of their whereabouts. Everyone knows that people come to Nevada for the brothels yet we encountered a hush-hush attitude from everyone we asked.





“C” and I rented a car and headed to the desert town of Pahrump, Nevada, about an hour’s drive from Las Vegas. Thanks to a couple of friendly locals, we were directed to the Chicken Ranch and Sheri’s Ranch, two popular brothels side by side on Homestead Road.



The Chicken Ranch: the Best Little Whorehouse in the West!





Ring the bell on the gate for admittance to the Chicken Ranch. You have to buzz to get out of there too!



If you’re interested in any of the ladies in the lineup at the Chicken Ranch, you’re offered a menu.


About 21 miles down the road from Pahrump is the hamlet of Crystal, Nevada. (population 23)

Just follow the dirt road.





Crystal is home to Mabel’s House of Prostitution …



Mabel’s Whorehouse: Where the customer comes first



… and Madame Butterfly Bath & Massage Salon ...






We saw some of the clientele and all I can say is that these girls earn every penny.






The Brothel Art Museum in Crystal is a combination bar/museum where the walls are lined with old newspaper clippings about Nevada brothels (shellacked and mounted onto wood plaques) and photographs of old Hollywood stars and singers.






A stuffed moose head is the focal point of the room.







When we arrived at the Brothel Art Museum, a two-piece band was practicing to a room of just two customers and us. The band indulged my song requests and didn’t kick me off the dance floor. And the female bartender was a real sweetie. Don’t go here if you’re expecting a cultural experience. But what it lacked in artistic merit, it made up for in hospitality.



Cherry Patch Ranch House of Prostitution in Crystal





Crystal, Nevada is where Heidi Fleiss is trying to open a brothel for women called Heidi's Stud Farm. The establishment would hire men to service women. Any fellas interested in employment on the Stud Farm can apply here.



Leghorn Bar at the Chicken Ranch



Management doesn’t usually offer brothel tours (to non-paying visitors like us) but you can drink in the bordello bars if you have some cash on you. We didn’t speak with any of the ladies as it was their dinner hour and it was back to business following their brief time off.

The bartenders in these establishments were very open and friendly and we enjoyed talking with them. We appreciate the time they took to chat with us.

Oh, and Pink? I got you an application form for employment at The Chicken Ranch.


Photos © MJ, Infomaniac. Click on the pics to enlarge.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Leaving Las Vegas


Gilley’s Saloon: Cold beer…dirty girls


I’m back from Sin City!

My friend “C” from Toronto met me in Las Vegas to celebrate her birthday and as you can see from this pic…





… we made the most of it.

More pics to come later this week.

What did I miss while I was gone? Please update me on what you’ve been doing since I’ve been away.



Monday, August 21, 2006

Vegas Baby, Yeah!




Infomaniac will return on August 30th.

Going to Sin City!

I’m leaving August 23rd for Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon so this will be my last posting ‘til I return.

You can all finally have some peace while I’m away.

So far, all I’ve planned is my bar route around Vegas so I really need to take the next two days off to plan my trip.

I’ve already promised The Poofs a postcard so I’ll ask the rest of you lot too …

Want a postcard? Email your address to me before August 23rd and I’ll send you a postcard from Vegas or the Grand Canyon. Indicate which location you’d prefer.








While I’m away, I know you’ll have idle hands so I’ve come up with something to keep you busy.

I know that some of you, Awaiting for instance, are crafty, so this should be a real pleasure. Even if you’re not the crafty type, you’ll have fun with this DIY project. (nsfw)

Bye for now!

Kisses,

MJ

Sunday, August 20, 2006

The Call

As you may have read over here, I phoned Tazzy and Piggy yesterday. Their account of the call is a wee bit different than mine. They make it sound like we were having a nice innocent chat over cups of tea.

Here’s what really happened…

I called their new phone sex line and boy did I get my money’s worth!




MJ: Talk dirty to me Taz




Taz: MJ, you DIRTY COW!





MJ: Best £5 a minute I’ve ever spent!



Thanks, fellas.

Signed,

Another satisfied customer

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Happy Anniversary, Tazzy & Piggy!


(click to enlarge)


Happy Anniversary to our favourite Yorkshire poofs, Tazzy and Piggy.

We’re so glad you met and fell in love.



The Ballad of Tazzy and Piggy

There once was a funny wee Scot
Whose knickers would twist in a knot
How he pined for the day
Love would whisk him away
To places unmentionably hot

Then one day he logged onto a site
And a fella named Taz took a bite
They became quite besotted
His knickers unknotted
And now they shag every nite

Friday, August 18, 2006

Piggy Loses His Head

Mastercard ‘Priceless’ Spoof

Video clip based on Mastercard’s ‘Priceless’ TV advertisements.


Caption This!

Road Rage Cards




An alternative to giving drivers the finger.

Road Rage Cards come in flip-book form to flash out your car window.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Cult of SID … continued


Cult of SID tree fetishists



Back in May, Infomaniac reported on a bizarre tree-hugging cult led by none other than our Stupid Irish Daddy (SID)!

That Oirish devil SID ... just look what he’s up to now.

He’s only gone and spread his seed! Planted a bunch of trees that bear his likeness! LOOK! …




SID’s Bird looks well pleased, doesn’t she?











Another satisfied cult member









Major wood








Look everyone! It’s a Piggy tree!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Vibra-Finger


(click to enlarge)

Here's a clever product. The Vibra-Finger Gum Massager.

Can you think of any other practical uses?



(Thanks, Pamer)

Sexy Magic Freak

Nothing up my sleeve… presto!

Not safe for work.



Sexy Magic Freak - video powered by Metacafe

Evil Mitchells



Grant and Phil Mitchell from EastEnders disguised as Frobi and Miles.


(Thanks for the pic, Tazzy and Piggy)

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

HUSBANDS WHO BLOG: Introducing Billy and Geo




CAUTION: This posting contains macho subject matter and high testosterone levels. Enter at your own risk.

It’s the in thing to have a husband who blogs.

Just ask Maddie or Maidink. Both their husbands have new blogs of their own and it’s my pleasure to introduce them to those of you who haven’t yet met them.

First up…

BILLY

Y’all know our Maddie and her fantabulous blog Ridicluelessness.



Maddie and Billy
(click to enlarge)


Maddie’s husband Billy created a blog called Billy’s Club “giving celebrities or other notable persons what their daddy's should have given them a long time ago...a good beating.”

Billy’s interests include celebrity gossip and his wife’s boobs. Especially his wife’s boobs.

Billy’s a police officer in Alabama so don’t say anything to piss him off. I know some of you will be thrilled to know we have a resident man in uniform.




Maddie: “Oh Billy, I’ve been such a bad girl!”



Okay, moving right along to our next Blogging Husband…


GEO

The lovely Maidink needs no introduction here on Infomaniac. So let’s meet Maidink’s love slave, Geo, of Shooting 4 Fun.



Geo, Maidink, and their wee sprog Dinkerdoodle
(click to enlarge)


Geo works in a Philadelphia steel mill as a crane operator.

He likes to shoot stuff, reenact World War II and chase Maidink around the house.


BILLY AND GEO


I think Billy and Geo should meet up. They’d get along like a house on fire, don’t you think?

They have so much in common. They both like firearms and their hot little wives. And they’re both Yanks… but don’t hold that against them.

Is it just me or have you noticed that for two macho good ole boys, they’re both wearing PINK shirts? Ladies, I think there’s something your hubbies aren’t telling you.

So what more can we say about Billy and Geo? You’ve got a police officer and a crane operator. Add a biker, a cowboy, a sailor and a Chief into the mix and you have the Village People!





A final note to all you hot-blooded males out there. You can see that Billy and Geo’s wives are stunners. In fact, their radiant beauty distracts from Billy and Geo! But keep it in your pants, boys. Maddie and Maidink are happily married and are not interested in your scabby arses. So no emails or phone calls, please.

Now get over to their blogs and tell ‘em MJ sent ya.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Taz and Pig FuckFinder




Tazzy and Piggy are expanding their empire with an online dating service.

The Taz and Pig FuckFinder

What’s next for these budding entrepreneurs? A drive-through divorce service?

What Are You Wearing?



Right now … tell us ... what are you wearing?

Sunday, August 13, 2006

DJ Taz


(click image to enlarge)



Long rumoured to be the Fifth Beatle, DJ Taz plays your requests on Taz Radio … at Tazzy and Piggy dot com

Note to the challenged: The Taz Radio “click to listen” feature is on the right hand side of their home page.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

At Last… a Pic



For all of you who have been requesting a photo of me, here it is.

I’m 97 but as you can see, I don’t look a day over 80.

Remember girls … moisturize, moisturize, moisturize.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Where’s SID?


SID


Where’s SID? Why hasn’t he shown up on my earlier posting to beg Piggy not to reveal his secrets?

Has he gone barking mad from Tazzy and Piggy’s visit to his home?

Obscene Gestures from Around the World


Johnny Cash "flipping the bird"


Obscene hand gestures from around the world.

This list is incomplete so tell us about any other rude gestures that should be included.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

TAZZY AND PIGGY VISIT SID: The Aftermath

As you know, Tazzy and Piggy visited SID and SID’s Bird and SID’s kids (aka The Earth Angels) in Ireland. Now that they've sodded off back to Yorkshire, SID thinks he can finally sit back and relax.

But not so fast! There is plenty to do before you put your feet up SID.

First, you and the missus must put on your Hazmat outfits and hose your house down. Remove all traces of Tazzy and Piggy contaminates...






Next, douse the members of your household after their contact with Tazzy and Piggy to prevent parasites. May I suggest a good sheep dip? ...






You’ll need some of this to stop the itching that started when Tazzy and Piggy got a little too close for comfort…






Those filthy beggars couldn’t even lift a finger to help SID’s bird with the dishes. So you’re on your own now to clean up their dirty crockery…






Lastly, call in the priest to perform an excorism…






Now that you’ve decontaminated, fumigated, and exorcised, you’re ready for a nice cuppa.

But wait!

Tazzy and Piggy tell me you’re keeping a secret from us. They say your little children have tales to tell. Tazzy and Piggy would like to remind you of the little slip-ups the wee ones uttered.

Tazzy and Piggy told me they’ll tell us ALL about it unless you beg. Their words as follows:

I think SID should beg.

What do others think?

Less than enough begging and we'll tell.

*even more evil cackle*

Oh the power!



So go on everyone. Should SID beg? If so, how much? And in what manner? Make it good or SID’s secrets will be spilled here publicly. Muahaha!!!