Friday, June 30, 2006

Underground Etiquette

If you ride underground public transit (The Tube, The Subway, The Metro) read Underground Etiquette.

So far there are 33 lessons on things you really should and shouldn't do on The Tube.

I am guilty of Lesson One: Don't read over people's shoulders.

Wanted: Sperm Tester

Career opportunity. Sperm tester wanted.

Sexually active couple required to test a range of sexual health products designed to change the flavour of sexual fluids.

Applicants must be willing to provide a detailed blow-by-blow public account of how the taste of their partner's sexual fluid changes during the 30-day trial.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Guys Gone Wild

Dude, where's my pants?

The Gone Wild videos. Not just for girls anymore.

Boys will be boys in Guys Gone Wild.

Via [pcjm]

10 Sex Positions You Shouldn’t Attempt

Don’t try this at home.

10 Sex Positions You Shouldn’t Attempt.

Happy Birthday, John Cusack

John Cusack, born June 28, 1966, turned 40 years old today.

Here are 40 reasons to love John Cusack.

(Thanks, Cathie Walker)

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Jenna Jameson’s Hot Trimmer

The men have Mr. Baldnutz for their personal shaving needs. But what about the ladies?

Good news. Now you can style the hair down there with Jenna Jameson’s Hot Trimmer.

Johnny Depp Naked

I promised you a photo of Johnny Depp naked and I found a photo of Johnny Depp naked! Sorry, no full-frontal nudity yet but I’m working on it.

The photo is from the movie Private Resort with Rob Morrow.

See more Johnny Depp Private Resort screencaps at Depp Impact.

Women in Waders

Our Pamer has had it up to here (insert water line) with all the male body parts on this blog.

Being the flaming heterosexual that he is, I’ve taken pity on his plight and decided it’s time I catered to his preference for female pulchritude.

And so Pamer, I bring you … drum roll please …


Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Men Who Paint Their Toenails

Man with toenail polish

Homo Escapeons left a comment in my “sandals and socks” posting stating that men are doing ladies a great service by hiding their bare feet. Homo goes on to say, “We don’t decorate our toes.”

I have news for you, Homo. Men do decorate their toes. Take a look at these photos of men who polish their toenails.

Sandals and Socks

I experienced a dozen socks and sandals sightings on my way to the beach today. Where are the fashion police when you need them?

Summer is in full swing and the men of this country are committing a serious fashion crime.

No socks with sandals! I repeat. No socks with sandals!

Please check your footwear before you leave home today lest you commit this fashion faux pas.

And no, I don’t care if your name is David Beckham. Lose the socks!

Tranny Gangs Terrorize New Orleans

Eddie Izzard not involved despite appearances to the contrary

Kleptomaniac transvestite gangs with expensive tastes are raiding the boutiques of New Orleans.

The transvestites appear to be drug-addicted and fearless in their lust for designer shoes, jackets and jewelry.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Back Later

Day off. Heading out to find a sunny spot somewhere around here...

Totti Penalty Kick Sends Italy to Quarter-Finals

Francesco Totti: “il bello”

Francesco Totti puts Italy into the quarter-finals as Italy defeat Australia 1-0 at the World Cup on June 26, 2006.


Scientists are offering parents £20 for their children's head lice.

Researchers are trying to find new ways to treat new super-lice, which are becoming resistant to conventional cures.

Now a team at Bristol University want to collect as many parasites as possible in order to find new treatments.

Some will be studied at the university's veterinary department in Langford, Somerset, while the rest will be sent to researchers in the US.


Prince Charles scratching his head. Could he be a victim of super-lice?

The Great Duane Eddy

Fellow Canuck Donn Coppens aka Homo Escapeons has been blogging about instrumental music.

That's put me in the mood for some twangy guitar a la Duane Eddy.

Enjoy “Rebel Rouser” and dig the dancing go-go girls.

England 1 Ecuador 0

England 1 Ecuador 0 in the June 25th World Cup match.

David Beckham became the first England player to score at three World Cups.

Shortly after the goal, Beckham vomited on the field.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Poofter Cam

If you’ve absolutely nothing better to do today, Tazzy and Piggy dot com (NSFW) have installed the Poofter Cam.

Caution: May cause drowsiness.

Beware the Japanese Johnny-on-the-Spot

Exercise extreme caution when using a portable toilet in Japan, as this video demonstrates…

Friday, June 23, 2006

Chip-Throwers Chastised

Pauline Oakley of Doncaster, South Yorkshire, was fined £75 for throwing a “manky chip” out her car window. Doncaster Council increased the fines to £75 after announcing a zero-tolerance policy on littering the streets.

Earlier this month, a Manchester man was fined £75 for throwing chips to park pigeons.

And in May, a Luton woman was fined £75 for throwing a Cheesy Wotsit into the road.

The Menstrual Map of Canada

Port Moody

From Bloody River to Periodical Creek, it’s The Menstrual Map of Canada. (Clicking on the PDF below the map will enlarge the place names)

Melissa Edwards, an editor at Geist magazine, creates themed maps of Canada from the more unusual and interesting place names in our country.

Other favourites include The Doughnut Map of Canada and The National Beer Map of Canada.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

30 Pounds of Velveeta Cheese! What to do?

A woman and her Velveeta Cheese dilemma.

What do I do? I was given 30 lbs. of Velveeta Cheese in 3lb blocks. Can I FREEZE Velveeta Cheese? If so would it be better to freeze it in the packages it comes in or can I split it into 1 lb. packages?

Thankfully, the problem was resolved.

Italy 2 Czech Republic 0

Filippo Inzaghi

Italy defeat the Czech Republic 2-0 at the World Cup on June 22nd.

Men With Long Fingernails

If you like men with long fingernails, you’ll love Liking Long Fingernails on Men.

Long fingernails on a guy are really very special to me. I like to see guys with long, sharp fingernails, the longer and sharper the better. I fantasize about being pinched and scratched by those claws. I collect pictures, video clips and (fantasy) stories about guys with long fingernails. I also like to exchange mail with guys actually having their nails (extremely) long. This web site shows my collection of pictures, video clips, (fantasy) stories and a message board for people with similar interest in long fingernails on men to meet each other. Enjoy!

Patriotic Baboons Steal England Footie Flags

cheeky monkey

Baboons at Knowsley Safari Park in Merseyside have built up a huge collection of World Cup England flags … by stealing them from visitors’ cars.

Visitors are being warned to remove the flags from their vehicles before driving through the section where the 120 pilfering primates roam.

Safari Park general manager David Ross said: "If you think about it, this is hardly surprising. All the baboons were born here on Merseyside so they are Scousers through and through and probably just as football mad as everyone else in the area.”

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Lewis the Cat Under House Arrest

Notorious serial-scratcher Lewis the Cat has been placed under house arrest. The terrorizing tomcat has been ordered by a Connecticut court judge to remain indoors at all times.

Lewis has been involved in six attacks on people in his neighbourhood.

"You wouldn't believe what this cat can do." victim Janet Kettman said. "It's not just a scratching. It's a mauling. He attacks from the back.You never see it coming. He has six toes on every foot, which constitutes a very formidable weapon."

Lewis has his own page on

Body Part of the Month: Gluteal Furrow

Gluteal Furrow

Definition: The groove between the buttock and thigh.

Also known as the Gluteal Crease.

And so ends today’s anatomy lesson.

Strap-On Gardening Stool

Strap the Wearable Garden Stool to your butt. It leaves your hands free to weed, pick vegetables, plant, etc. Cuts down on aching backs and saves time and labor.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Someone’s Been Eating My Porridge

It’s not unusual to see black bears in the Greater Vancouver Regional District as we share their habitat. They don’t wander into the city centres but if you’re hiking one of the GVRD’s many trails, there’s a chance you’ll have an encounter. I came face to face with a bear while walking adjacent to a wooded area in North Vancouver. Advice: Stay calm and back away slowly.

Still, you don’t expect to come home and find a bear eating your oatmeal porridge. But that’s exactly what happened to a woman in West Vancouver.

Football Totty: JOE COLE

In today’s World Cup action, England plays Sweden so let’s get in the mood with Team England’s Joe Cole.

That lad loves to get shirtless…

Milkmen – Male Lactation

Actress Kate Beckinsale has revealed she could squirt milk out of her breasts and across the room after giving birth.

Kate says she developed the unusual skill while breastfeeding daughter Lily, her child from her relationship with actor Michael Sheen.

She told talk show host Jay Leno: "I do miss breastfeeding. I was good at it. I got more than my fair share - I could hit the wall from quite a distance! I do have some useless talents."

What an impressive party trick!

Now imagine if men could squirt milk from their breasts. It would become a competitive sport!

But wait! Men CAN lactate!

So guys, give your breastfeeding wife a break. You have nipples. Use them! And imagine how much fun you’ll be at parties.

Monday, June 19, 2006


Ginny’s up next on the totty request line and she wants Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje.

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje is a British actor, born August 22, 1967. He played Simon Adebisi in the HBO prison series Oz and Mr. Iko on the second season of ABC’s drama Lost.

Drag Queen Car Wash

Drag queen charity car wash.

“It’s all about moisture.”

“Can we get somebody’s wig to dry this car?”


Maidink’s up next on Totty Week with her request for American actor “James Marsden … nekkid.”

I’ve handled some tough assignments since Totty Week began … Hardhouse’s request for Ryan Carne with his feet exposed springs to mind. And Pixie, for reasons unknown, wanted a photo of Bilbo Baggins with his feet exposed.

Undaunted, I persevered and came through. My only failing so far has been to find a photo for Betty of Emmanuel Petit, preferably naked, awaiting a massage in the French dressing rooms.

But I’ve been stumped again!

This is the best I can do … James Marsden shirtless.

So I’m turning this over to you, dear readers. If you have a photo of James Marsden naked, please email it to me. It would make our Maidink so happy.

And while you’re at it, if you could rummage around in your closets for a photo of Emmanuel Petit naked, awaiting a massage in the French dressing rooms. Betty is still waiting.

Maidink, are you sure I couldn’t interest you instead in a photo of James Marsden with his feet exposed?

Football Totty: Nuno Gomes

Team Portugal’s Nuno Gomes.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

S. Epatha Merkerson aka Reba the Mail Lady

S. Epatha Merkerson as Lt. Van Buren

Before she was Lieutenant Anita Van Buren on Law & Order, S. Epatha Merkerson played the role of Reba the Mail Lady on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse.

Reba the Mail Lady

Reba the Mail Lady action figure by Matchbox

Watch an animated video clip called Trouble in the Playhouse. Reba gets it on with Ricardo in the Playhouse…